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Month: September 2016

Remembering

When I was a child I loved Christmas. As I look back on it now I can see that I loved Christmas so much because that was a time of family and I didn’t usually feel like I had one. At Christmas we would go to my great-grandparents house and celebrate. It was a lovely time with lots and lots of people. I think one year there were 70 people that passed in and out of that smallish house. It was a big potluck with my Aunts Sophie and Louise making roast and a host of other food but...

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Releasing the Past

Time is a funny thing. Sometimes it moves so fast. Other times it feels like it is barely moving. Then there is the rare time that both things happen at once. Tomorrow it will be 10 years since my mother died. That seems pretty unbelievable to me. Part of me feels like it was just last week but at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. I did good taking care of her at the end. I don’t know how many times I heard people say “I don’t know how you are doing this”. It was later, after the funeral and taking care of her personal business that things became hard. Sad in no way describes what I felt. Neither does overwhelmed. There are no words for the state that I was in. And that lasted for years. It is ridiculous to admit but at 43 years old, I felt like an orphan. I have always been sensitive. Some people would say too sensitive. For years… I was affected. I know that some people will say that there should be no restrictions on the time limits of grief but when it totally overtakes you and overwhelms life… it should be addressed. Actually I did think about getting grief counseling but just the thought of that overwhelmed me so much that I couldn’t deal with it. Recently I...

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