I recently found yoga!
It has been a wonderful discovery for me and has helped me in a lot of ways. It gives me something to do that calms my mind and hopefully will make my body stronger. It also allows me to be around other people. Besides the physical aspect, yoga brings in a spiritual dimension that really makes me happy.
I have felt like I needed to do yoga for about a year but I resisted. I am sure that some of the resistance was because I am not used to being around people but part of it is because of my weight and awkwardness. Now that I mention that, I suppose the weight and awkwardness is part of why I stay away from people.
The yoga class that I went to was taught by a woman older than me. She spent quite a bit of time making sure that I had the proper props and understood when to use them. She also told me not to try to keep up with others and just do what I needed to do. While the rest of the class was doing 108 downward dog/cobras I just did some cobras to start strengthening my body.
I have been working on meditation for several years now. It has calmed my mind enough that I can usually fall asleep and that, for the most part, anxiety doesn’t totally overwhelm me. Meditating with other people was something that is new to me though. I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. I would have thought that having other people around would be distracting but that wasn’t the case at all. Especially during chanting… everyones’ voices blending together to form one note-that really relaxes me and takes me to a wonderful place.
Learning to relax and be ok with ourselves is important. Sure, not everyone is going to like us. That is ok. We still have a right to be there.